Human Zoos: Working dozens of hours per week with the same people can very easily create secret or even well-known admirers along the way.  And this is the case whether or not one’s work involves a sex sells aspect.  When new at a job, one can be viewed as fresh meat in the eyes of the existing employees.  Potentially more dangerous monogamy-wise is how for the new employee, there are now multitudes of new bodies and personalities that might spark an interest.  New work assignments at the same job can be just as challenging, especially if it will entail travel to another city on a frequent basis.  The key to human zoo-related sexual encounter risk prevention is acknowledging how sparks can fly no matter what one’s chosen hobby, craft or industry is—as long as it involves regularly crossing paths with numerous opposite-sex people.

Two specific human zoo categories that deserve special consideration are the food and beverage industry and Corporate America.  The former is distinguishable by how much touching and hugging takes place while at work; the latter basically makes touching for the most part off limits.  A second distinction is that the former is also made up of a wide range of youthful people, starting as young as seventeen.  A third is that in the former the celebrity factor exists and should never be underestimated.  Think Tiger Woods walks into Hooters and…

Restaurants and bars can definitely present challenges in finding others sexually interesting given how many were hired with at least a “sex appeal” if not “sex object” look for the job.  With high turnover, such venues will have dozens of part-time and full-time employees come and go throughout the year—not to mention thousands of customers.  And with all this “seven days a week” people interaction, new sexual encounters will occur between “store” anniversary dates guaranteed.  In a work atmosphere where alcohol and music is often served and playfully touching co-workers—especially while slipping behind them in a tight spot—overlooked, many will end up having sex with fellow employees, supply and service vendors, including alcohol representatives, and of course customers.

In Corporate America, even though people are hired only on their particular non-physical skill sets [wink], things can be just as challenging, even though almost all forms of touching are limited to handshakes.  Corporate co-workers are generally now connected 24/7 through their company-subsidized smart phones and laptop, and are often encouraged to socialize in the human jungles together at least periodically during the year under the guise of “team building” happy hours.  Further, off-site conventions can end up being one big drink and then meet party.

Prevention maneuvers in any human zoo scenario, corporate or otherwise, include not getting intoxicated while with co-workers and keeping any dancing activities at arms’ length at all times.  While many work-oriented friendships are formed, a partnership can develop literally overnight after one lengthy happy hour celebration.  Then there are the holiday parties where both alcohol and music are served in abundance for a four or five hour period.  Revelations-wise, the mistletoe phenomenon has never been more risqué for those who linger to the very “last call” end of the party, let alone go out afterwards together.  All one need do is open one’s eyes and focus next time at a future office party’s “last call” moment.

And in between holiday seasons, regular office activities can be managed accordingly.  Activities with opposite-sex co-workers such as grabbing a smoke or a Starbuck’s coffee on a regular or even daily basis could lead to sexual interests.  At first it is just friendly.  Next there is that invite to do something together outside of work.  Before anyone can figure out how it happened, things go from nice to hot.

Keeping one-on-one lunches to under an hour is also wise, as is showing restraint in sharing vacation photos which entail bathing suits or other scantily clad conditions.  Under similar reasoning, desexualizing oneself when using the company gym or working at the office on the weekend is an important move as well.  And of course, when away for a work-related convention, stopping by, or even holding a meeting in one’s hotel room is asking for nothing but trouble.

While not exactly a human zoo situation in the truest sense, the 2008 Olympics will serve as a good way to end this chapter on risqué revelations.  “According to veterans of the Games, the world’s top athletes were hooking up for the two weeks of competition, with a final burst of sexual release on the eve of the next day’s closing ceremonies.  ‘This sex fest…[happened] right here in Beijing,’ Matthew Syed, a past Olympian and table tennis champion now working as a commentator, writes in the Times of London.  Syed notes the big winners, ‘even those as geeky as Michael Phelps,’ were the principle objects of desire for many female athletes.  Losers also get their share, he said, adding it was ‘a common sight to see recently knocked-out athletes gorging on Magnums and McDonald’s, swilling alcohol and, of course, shagging like crazy.’”

It is Last Call’s prayer that all of those American athletes hooking up were sexually available and being brutally honest with anyone else with whom they had sex while in Beijing—not to mention brutally honest with any “loved ones” left back in America.  Upon their return, one can just picture those left-back-home partners being told how much they were missed for that two week period.