Theorem 5.2 – Cookie Jars: If she chooses, the female can have cookies from more than one cookie jar in any given week with little to no out-of-pocket cost. She can have a sugar cookie on Wednesday night, a chocolate chip cookie on Friday night, and an oatmeal cookie on Saturday night. With all of the money she did not have to spend on food and alcoholic beverage items that week—ironically stashed away in a modern day cookie jar (her purse)—she proceeds to buy her 51st pair of active shoes on Sunday.
Proof: A female goes out with her girlfriend on a Wednesday. They pick a place that has a ladies’ night where females are admitted free and drink for free between 9 PM and 11 PM, after which all drinks are $2 each (all drinks except for beer imports that is). She meets male number one, the chocolate chip cookie, early in the evening, who ends up paying full price for six Coronas for her and her girlfriend. They exchange contact call info and then move on.
Male number two, the oatmeal cookie, jumps over to their end of the bar once he sees male number one take off. He ends up subsidizing two more rounds of Coronas and a snack from the bar’s late night menu. Once again, contact call info is exchanged. As fate would have it, the oatmeal cookie soon takes off due to an early morning meeting. That is when male number three, the sugar cookie and a very opportunistic type male, swoops in. Without spending a dime on the females, he ends up getting them both onto the dance floor, which then leads to a pretty interesting make-out session.
The chocolate chip cookie (male number one) calls the next day and secures a date with the female for Friday night. The oatmeal cookie (male number two), who called later that same day, secures a date with the female for Saturday night. The sugar cookie (male number three) never even exchanged any contact call info, and is therefore out of the picture for the remainder of this story.
The Friday night date with the chocolate chip cookie includes the typical first date food and beverage consumption, running up a tab of $120, of which the female pays nothing. While the chocolate chip cookie ends up going to a local bar on Saturday night with some buddies due to depleted financial resources, the female is preparing for her date with the oatmeal cookie.
For the Saturday night first date, which lasts a few hours longer, a tab of $200 is achieved, of which the female [again] pays nothing. While the oatmeal cookie is now limited to $8 lunches for the rest of the week until he gets his next paycheck, the female finds herself at the local mall on Sunday. And even though the female only has two feet, she ends up purchasing her 51st pair of shoes for $120, including tax.
Ironically, this amount roughly equals 80 percent of her personal consumption of food and beverages that were subsidized during her three nights out. With an estimated value of at least $150, this technically leaves her with a little extra cash to put towards that future home down payment or current mortgage.